Maybe I’m selfish.
I like to buy myself a birthday gift as a reminder to be good to oneself. There’s a particular birthday in high school that has stuck with me, it became clearer since the fog of hormones, exams, and band recitals has vanished. That memorable day was my sweet sixteen. Mom made an apple pie and I wanted black forest cake. Being that age, you don’t see or comprehend all that is happening around you. I didn’t know how the family finances were not that great. I didn’t know my parents would be getting divorced. Heck, could it have happened? Did she forget my birthday in the super storm of life breaking away from itself? It was a long time ago. That day, or the emotional imprint of it, will always stay with me. Now I have a maelstrom of my own to get through, but a birthday shall not go forgotten, unnoticed, or snuffed out. This year my gift to me is that divine vanilla in the photo above. It caught my eye in the virtual Food52 shop window and I thought Hey, why not? It’s my birthday!
I feel older.
My body aches. Bones crack. I’m tired. I won’t say “I’m old” because that would just offend those who are older than me. Let’s just leave it as an incremental step and one more candle on the (black forest) cake.
I feel wiser.
I see what I have done before and learn from it. I’m more confident in doing what is right, good, truthful, or scary because I know what waits on the other side of those actions. That’s what life is about for me at 32.
I feel hopeful.
With all the injustices in the world I am hopeful for a better future. We can’t reverse the entire industrial revolution without massive sacrifices, however if we destroy the only home we have there’s no point. Pollution. War. GMOs. They all need to go away. I’m grateful for those of us who sacrifice towards gaining momentum to end what will end us all. I wish I could hug the world to bring peace, a clean planet, and organic food. That would be a good start, eh?
Note: This is not a sponsored post. The link to the Food52 shop will get you a discounted offer on this vanilla. That is all.
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